Does Tim Howard play basketball?

Does Tim Howard play basketball? Because we could use his defense. I still think Team USA wins, but Harden and Curry need to go crazy, and The. Unibrow has to anchor a subpar defense. It could happen. I also think Coach K plays four shooters for long stretches against several teams. Without further ado…

Final guess for the Team USA Bball roster, which looks much different from a few weeks ago:

BIGS
Unibrow
Faried
Drummond
Plumlee

FORWARDS
Rudy Gay
Korver
Parsons
Klay Thompson (playing a lot of small forward)

GUARDS
Curry
Harden
Kyrie
Rose

Starting five:
Curry
Harden
Thompson
Faried
Unibrow

Thompson brings D and shooting. Faried scares people and runs the floor. Unibrow dominates all over. Curry shoots and/or drives and dishes. Harden scores whenever they need a tough bucket (and actually plays some D because his teammates are actually trying).

Key bench guys: Drummond, Gay, Kyrie, Parsons
Drummond brings dunks, defense and rebounds. Gay and Parsons should be the backup forwards; both are big enough to play the 4. Parsons can shoot and play off the dribble. Gay can post up the small quick guys. Kyrie is a pretty good third guard to have.

“You have one job to do” guys:
Plumlee (protect the rim when we get in foul trouble)
Korver (off-ball movement to create space, because he might hit 10 3s in 3 minutes and the other team knows it)
Rose – (10-15 minutes of point guard defense without getting hurt)

“Grab some TEAM USA swag” guys:
Gordon Hayward- almost but not quite
DeMarcus Cousins – his game just doesn’t fit
DeMar DeRozan – a lesser, younger version of Rudy Gay
Damian Lillard – makes it if Rose bows out because of injury, and probably should’ve made it over Kyrie because neither plays defense.

If my guesses are off, this post might get deleted 🙂